Don't judge me.
The other day I met a guy, who by every indication, was hitting on me. He kinda went about it in a roundabout way, but he finally did ask if he could take me out. I told him that I was involved in a relationship and that I could not go out with him.
Generally, when this happens the guy begins to question me about the relationship (forming an a negative opinion), not that it is any of their business, but I don't mind obliging.
So, how long have you been together?
3 years.
3 years? Why hasn't he married a pretty girl like you?
We're happy the way things are.
Ya'll don't live together?
No.
That's hard to believe.
No, it's not.
Oh, man, I'm shocked ya'll aren't married. What are you waiting on?
Nothing. We're happy the way things are.
Why is it so hard for people to understand that individuals don't have to adhere to the norm? They guy went on to talk about how he just got out of a bad relationship. During the conversation he indicated that he tends to go all out really quickly. I was thinking, perhaps that is why you had such a bad relationship. The time wasn't taken to really get to know each other. Yet, you are judging the relationship I'm involved in? When we are extremely happy with the way things are and how things are moving?
Let me be.
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6 comments:
I get the same thing when people ask me why Husband and I don't have kids.
People need to let things be! If it makes you happy, it can't be that bad!
Yeah, I bet you all get that comment. It is like if things are different from "the norm" then they see fault. Who established this so called "norm" in the first place? Things don't always have to conform.
great post. Oddly, I'd get the same reaction for WANTING kids. (People assume because I'm a educated liberal "angry girl" --up North talk for feminist--that I'd rather not have a child) That's why I rarely talk about it. Go figure.
My parents were together for 5 years before getting married. Dad said he figured mom had stuck around through all that she'd probably be in it for the long haul. :) What would people prefer, that you don't get married but date on again off again and have kids to boot? There's enough of that.
Basically, you can't please everybody and each and every person has their own expectations.
Really and truly though, the only expectations that have to be fulfilled are your own (and significant other's) individual expectations. That's all that really matters.
Oh, I get the same type of comments when people learn that M & I have been together for 9 years, but aren't married... mind your own damn business! Seriously!
Comebacknikki - you probably get worse that I do!
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